The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?  Psalm 27:1

     I remember the moment I realized that I trusted God for the paths of my life—how to spend my time, how to discipline my children, and how to be wise about money, but I still acted like my relational life was up to me. It didn’t occur to me to pray about my emotions, my hurts, my immaturity when it came to communication—even though that was a big part of my life! When we read the verse for today, we think of it in terms of battling obstacles that keep us from doing God’s work. But we rarely think in terms of relationships, and the battles that occur in those places of the heart. We live in ignorance of the fact that we can trust God with our emotional struggles and insecurities. So we don’t pray about these things; we act like we’re on our own.

     The truth is, we can’t love well—or even be emotionally healthy people—without God’s help. Being emotionally healthy requires copious amounts of godly wisdom, and loving well requires bucketloads of grace. Prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit on a moment-by-moment basis is the only way to handle the landmines of relating well.

     In the book “Strong Women, Soft Hearts,” Paul Rinehart says, “Loving someone well is not unlike cultivating a garden. For the sake of the relationship, you offer the warmth and attention that would allow something good to grow, even though past hurt can make you wary. But the relationship, like any good garden, needs cultivation—telling the truth about “the weeds” that need to be addressed. If we ignore the weeds, they take over. We cultivate the garden as best we can. And try to be patient. The strength to say no is required to do the “weed” work, but saying a big “yes” to the best in the other person will allow beautiful fruit to flourish.”

     I don’t know about you, but I need God’s help for that! And I need not fear; He is my light, my salvation, my defense. It’s all God’s grace!

*Are you a person who pulls weeds and doesn’t do much watering? Or are you a person who waters all the time, but are too afraid to pull weeds? What is the one small thing you can choose in order to tend to your relationship garden better?

God, I only wish I had started praying sooner about my emotional life and the way that I handle relationships. Teach me to tend well to those parts of my life. Help me grow up in this area. Bring resources into my life, so that I can have wisdom and grace for people around me. Help me not to be afraid. You are with me. In Your loving name I pray, Amen.


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